Thoughts.

Do you ever feel as though life is flying past you? You glance behind to be sure of what just happened and then you miss what is right in front of you. It saddens me to see hours pass by that I wish would linger and moments with dear ones vanish before I fully appreciate them. Yet even as I wish for time to slow down, there are so many mornings that I wake up and pray that the Lord would help me to get to 5pm. The time when my day actually starts. Shouldn't there be balance between these two wishes? To slow the time I value so dearly and to hasten the time I dread?

Do you ever feel as though you're waking up to the wrong day? That time has passed you by and you don't know where it has gone or what has happened? You're confused as to who you've become and what you are currently doing. If you asked me (I've asked myself), what have you done for the last several months, I wouldn't know where to begin. Work would of course pass through my mind. Cooking pops up here and there. Sleep. But where is the depth? Where is the purpose and satisfaction that I would so love to tell you about. I can't seem to find it.

I'm torn between hoping I am not the only person who feels this way and hoping that this is not the case for you.

Voicing these questions makes me wonder where my focus has been. Has it settled without me even noticing? What am I devoting my time to? Where am I deriving satisfaction and nourishment? I sound exhausted.

I keep hearing all around me the exhortation to not float through life. To be aware, to trust, to cling to the Lord. To serve Him and serve others.

I wonder how long He has been sending me this reminder. Trying to tell me that my mind has been dazed and my heart self absorbed. How long have I been moving from day to day in this state? I look back over the past few months searching for times where I have served others. Times I have sought out The Lord. Times I have valued reading scripture, praying and nurturing my relationship with him.

Those moments whiz past me as though they are too short to be acknowledged. They are few and far between. They are moments that I wish would linger and yet I can't see them long enough to grasp them.

Realizations such as these can be heart breaking. How can frail humans handle such truth as this? That we are weak, selfish creatures who seek pleasure and satisfaction from worldly idols. That we, in and of ourselves, can't make it right on our own. 

(Read: By God's grace and love.)

I am so thankful that with this realization, The Lord has also reached out his hand to me. He has graciously shown me time and time again that my focus is wrong. But he has not left me to wallow in self pity and pick myself up on my own. Instead, He has waited patiently on me with His hand held open towards me. Not only has the Lord shown me my iniquities, but He has allowed me time to see them. Now, going forward, He will not abandon me to fix it on my own. Instead, He has taken my hand and will lead me down the right path. Never leaving me to walk it alone.

Chocolate Pomegranate Tart 
Slightly Adapted from Pastry Affair
Serves 10-12


Almond Tart Crust
1 1/4 cups whole wheat pastry flour
1/2 cup sliced almonds
1/4 tsp salt
2 Tbsp natural cane sugar
8 Tbsp cold ghee, cubed
1 large organic egg
2 Tbsp ice water

1. Mix Flour, sliced almonds, sugar and salt.
2. Add in cubed ghee with your hands until dough is coarse.
3. Mix in egg and water until dough pulls together.
4. Press dough into the tart pan, making sure it is even throughout. 
5. Stab dough with a fork to allow an even cook. 
6. Refrigerate dough for 30 minutes to firm up.
7. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C).
8. Bake the tart shell for 15 minutes, or until it is lightly colored and the shell feels dry to the touch.

Chocolate Filling
12 ounces semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup organic milk of choice (whole if possible)
2 large organic eggs
3 Tbsp natural cane sugar
1 Tbsp whole wheat pastry flour
1/4 tsp salt

1. Place chocolate and milk over medium-low heat. 
2. Once melted, turn off the heat and add in eggs, sugar, flour and salt.
3. Pour chocolate mixture into pre-baked tart crust and bake for 30 minutes.

Pomegranate Glaze
2 cups (475 ml) pomegranate juice
3 Tbsp natural cane sugar
Fresh pomegranate arils, for garnish

1. In a small saucepan over medium heat, mix together the pomegranate juice and sugar. Simmer for 20-25 minutes, or until the juice thickens to about 1/2 cup. The juice will be thick and syrupy. Remove from heat.

To Assemble: 

1. Once tart has cooled slightly, pour pomegranate syrup evenly over the top. 
2. Garnish with arils.
3. Allow glaze to set.
4. Serve at any temperature.
5. To store, cover and refrigerate.